To quote two:
“If your workplace is dominated by extroverts who criticize those who prefer to work alone — or skip after-work cocktails — as “not team players,” it may inadvertently alienate gifted people.”
“there is no difference in conforming responses given to high- and low-pressure levels by introverts.”
It feels like they described #autistic me. Then again, I'm an #INFP ( / #Introvert) type of autistic, so it fits.
In addition, I experienced that “not team players” from some managers from a certain company years ago. I don't join after-work cocktails, or any party, and was branded as “not a team player” by some of those in position. I was actually very glad I did not because I later found out they force people to drink, and I can't because I have #gout (other than the fact, you can't make me drink if I don't want to).
Anyway. What about you, my fellow #ActuallyAutistics? Or, are you an extrovert autistic yet still find similarities from the article and studies mentioned in it?
I always pushed for work lunches or during the day activities, rather than "optional" after work activites. There are so many reasons why this works out better, child care, alcoholism recovery, I'm not getting paid for this time, etc., that lunch events solve.
The Guardian published a study where men who drank with bosses after work made 11% more than those who didn't, women made 14% more.
> Susain Cain's "Quiet" delves into this much more.
Thank you! I'll look for it! ^_^
Good point, we have lunch for those. And if a manager thinks some socialisation is required, they also have the power to change some schedule for socialisation; or schedule a team building.
I recalled in one job, the manager eats his lunch at the same time as the subordinate he wants to socialise with. He adjusted himself instead of the employee. And in some instances, he just brings food for our team so we have a reason to be in the pantry together, and talk and relax. It was a good team (and I learned a lot from him as well).
> The Guardian published a study where men who drank with bosses after work made 11% more than those who didn't, women made 14% more.
Wow! That's interesting. Thank you for sharing that!
@youronlyone@autistics@actuallyautistic@autistics I generally hate after-work events. I have knowingly damaged my career rather than inflict the humiliation of golf tournaments and the like. Having said that, my partner has another perspective. As a social being who's led teams, they see a value in team building exercises, and I guess it makes sense. They usually try to find something that a wide range of people could enjoy that are non- or minimally competitive and never ones that involve alcohol (for a variety of reasons).
It makes me wonder, are there particular types of team building activities that are more autistic-friendly than others? Obviously a crowded and noisy bar would be unfriendly. What would make for a good autistic-friendly team building activity?
Ah, yes! After-work is used as a team building. Now that you mentioned it, I remembered what a good friend (met in a previous work) told me once: think of it as building relationships, you don't have to drink and you can eat whatever you want, I'll have your back. (We became friends after that even though we clash a lot in other topics and views.)
A team building that I experienced last year, and enjoyed, was a Spartan-like challenge games. We played games, challenges, used our brain, and creativeness.
I normally wouldn't crawl on dirt, but I even volunteered that time, and I enjoyed it. (Haven't done it before.) And I enjoyed the parts where we had to solve a puzzle.
I actually wanted to volunteer in all, but it would be greedy, and no longer a team building activity. 😅
I'd say, its better than after-work events. Especially since it's less "small talks" and more on having fun and being yourself.
@youronlyone I hate after-work-events. In fact, there was only one company where I joined those events. The only reason I did it was because I really liked the team.
Then there was the other that other company, where on my first day they invited me to an after work barbecue and I refused because of the short notice. First thing I was asked was "Are you not a team player?". Needless to say I never got warm with that team.
Exactly! I don't understand what being a “team player” has to do with after-work events. Is not being a team player (or not) based on how we work when we're on the clock? After-work is personal time already, and in cases like you mentioned, short notice, 99% a “no” from me as well.
some people enjoy bars etc. so they really don't mind; some build meaningful personal relationships with their work friends; some are on salary (aka "unpaid overtime"); some see off-the-clock socializing as a worthwhile sacrifice to benefit their career
that said, yeah, bullies gonna bully, and unempathetic NTs gonna take your personality personally
True that, different reasons. And, indeed, bullies gonna bully.
PS I didn't know “on salary” is that. O_O Glad you included an “aka”, otherwise I would just think “salary” as in “regularly paid work”.
(We don't use “on salary” in Philippine English, we use “fixed pay” and “hourly pay” to differentiate. Also, “fixed pay” are usually those in managerial and above positions, they're generally not qualified for overtime pay, but as a benefit, they don't get deductions from being late. The only time they paid for overtime is if they were forced to because of emergencies.)
@youronlyone "unpaid overtime" is my snarky explanation of what "on salary" means in the US -- your term "fixed pay" is more accurate, and yes, in retail and factory work, it's usually reserved for managers/executives (but a lot of low-level office / info workers are on salary, which does come with benefits like you mentioned, but also a lot of invisible requirements too)
another thing corporate culture uses a lot are euphemisms, to obscure exploitation and unfairness
@neuralex I actually like that explanation, “unpaid overtime”, haha, I just didn't know “on salary” is what we call “fixed pay”. All these years, I thought it meant “getting paid” instead of voluntary. ^_^;;
Now that you mentioned, I recall discussing with a friend how it was unfair for them to have no overtime pay but still deducted if they were late. It's much better to have an hourly rate in that case, especially since, it isn't like they will abuse it. I'm not sure what else invisible requirements they had, but yeah, you are right, there are always those invisible ones, often surprising not even nor hinted in contracts.
Oh yeah, euphemisms. I hate those. And you have to keep it to yourself if you see through it, otherwise, they'll find ways to remove you or make you voluntarily resign without them telling you.