Any clothing ideas for a mtf to ease into non-masc stuff?

celeste , 8 months ago

Nail polish! Accessoires! And you can wear skirts/dresses/kilts over pants when the weather allows it.

krimsonbun , 8 months ago

ooo I’d love to get nail polish I’m just scared to ask lol

Blahaj_Blast OP , 8 months ago

I think sometimes the absolute hardest part is allowing yourself to do it.

People really don’t care what you buy. If anything they do think it’s for someone else.

I bought some recently because it was close to a shade I thought and on sale. The hardest part really was like convincing myself it’s OK. Nobody said anything. It was all internal.

Blahaj_Blast OP , 8 months ago

I do have some clear polish I’ve been meaning to try, but I want to add some shape first and try it out over the weekend. They’re long enough I’m getting self conscious but would like to try it out before I have to cut them.

Any ideas on accessories? I’ve thought about stuff like small rings. I’m looking subtle. I’m definitely not brave enough for a skirt in public yet 🫤 definite a strong fear of “man in a dress”

celeste , 8 months ago

Yeah, I feel that. I mostly wear skirts when I'm with a group of queer people.

Rings are an idea, there's pins, necklaces, hair clips/bands. For earrings you should seek a piercer, they're better than these nail canons you get in stores.

You can also use different bags/ wear your bags differently and other smaller changes you can do to how you put together your outfit. Though I myself lack knowledge there.

Blahaj_Blast OP , 8 months ago

I will keep that in mind for piercing. It has crossed my mind, but attention 😱 even though I could alternate or wear androgynous, though I think my family would perceive androgynous as feminine.

I'm having trouble bringing myself to shave my beard(had constantly for ~10 years) just because I don't want to be asked about it a million times because it's been so long. Not even that anyone will suspect anything just "hey (50th person in a row) noticed you changed something" 😓🙄😮‍💨 "Yeah.."

vestigialthorn , 1 month ago

Piercings and nail polish really are so excepted now for men by the general public, that it is super easy to get away with that.

Shaving was a huuuuuuuuuuuuge step for me, as my facial hair was a masculinity mask of sorts. NGL, I cried through it. I wish I could snap my fingers and switch between not/having a full beard again.

I did a similar thing with slow transition with doing more femme presentation. Would love to hear how things have gone since so much can happen in the span of months, ie how long it’s been since this was first posted

Blahaj_Blast OP , 1 month ago

I was going to say things have been progressing fairly slowly, but thinking of everything over the past 7 months, maybe it wasn't as slow as I thought

I did eventually shave the beard, although it was in stages 😂

I went from full beard to chin strap, then just sideburns, the nothing...

My boss mentioned once something like "you're slowly losing beard" it was actually way less attention and awkwardness than I anticipated.

I have occasionally painted my nails on the weekends and had a couple insanely nice compliments, one by a guy(super surprised me)

I did impulsively buy some yoga pants one day, wrong size, but that's legit girl problems anyway. 😂

Not much anything public besides nails so far. I have had some clear and almost clear with light glitter on my nails for like 3 weeks now and either no one has noticed or just hasn't said anything.

Oh I also dabbled in body hair removal, which has proved to be trickier than I expected but I also thought I looked less weird than expected and found I liked it gone more than I thought I would.

vestigialthorn , 1 month ago

Awesome. I’m glad you’ve been finding things to try out and stay comfortable with it.

TheActualDevil , 8 months ago

I’m a cis-het guy who wears nail polish every day. I live in a very conservative southern state and the only comments I get are women telling me they love the color and asking what the brand is (It’s always either Holo Taco or Mooncat). These days, no one cares. And men with nail polish is in the zeitgeist right now, so no one would make any assumptions as to the why you’re wearing it.

And I’ve been wearing nail polish for 20 years. There were times when it was an issue, but I remember this one time back in the early 2000s. I was in high school, walking through the mall and this big guy stops me. He’s tatted up, long mangly beard and torn biker leathers on, probably in his 50s. He holds up his own hand to show off his polish and tells me he loves seeing other guys with it. We talk for a bit. He then calls his wife and daughter over and tries to convince me to take his daughter’s number.

I think about that guy sometimes when I’m unsure about how people will react to how I look. Given, I am speaking from a place or severe privilege compared to you, but I want to give you a bit of perspective. My sense of style has never really fit in with those around me. I paint my nails, dye my hair. I’ve worn my share of skirts when it matched my outfit(Once I went to a drag prom with my girlfriend, then we went out for dinner afterwards. Didn’t have time to change so I was straight up wearing a plaid dress and heels. The waitress hit on me and 3 different women came up to our table to talk to me and one gave me their number). Sometimes the clothing I wear can be a bit “loud.” And over the years I’ve come to just say “fuck it.” This is me. I look this way because I think it looks good or because I like the act of doing it. People can accept that or not, but that’s a them problem. As far as I know, no one has ever assumed I was anything other than a straight cis guy, and I’ve never had any problems.

I’m not saying this to suggest you should dress in a way you’re not comfortable with yet or that you shouldn’t be on your guard sometimes. But if you’re worried about people giving a shit about nail polish while you’re taking your first steps, you likely don’t need to. I wear traditionally feminine stuff all the time if I think it looks good and don’t run into issues. Nail polish, bracelets, rings, some shirts that are definitely cut for women and are a little tight on me.

In fact, women’s shirts are a good one for you I think. They’re not all low-cut, but with the narrower shoulders and typically shorter sleeves, they do feel different on you while not looking any different to people looking. If you’re still feeling self conscious with it on you can put a loose open front shirt on over it to cover any of those features but you still get to wear it.

And if you need any tips on nail polish or nail care, I got you. Nails and nail-beds on hands that have been masculine for years just aren’t the same as hands that have been taken care of for polish from early childhood.

alex , 8 months ago

Try to get more ample/flowing clothes with a lot of fabric (folds etc.), they often can look and feel more feminine.