Here are some dating tips, nothing grand, but can be useful.
Know how to say “I love you” in the #Filipino language because we have two for romantic relationships.
“Mahal kita” = This is your “I love you” in English. It can be used romantically or for family and relatives.
mahal = ma (as in “mama”) + hal (as in ha + L) which means “love”
kita = ki (as in ‘ki’ in “kit”) + ta (as in ‘ta’ in “tank”) which means “you”
“Iniibig kita” = This can be translated into English as “I deeply love you” or “I deeply desire you” or both; and should only be used romantically. You could say it is a poetic way of saying “I love you”, however, it is more than that.
iniibig = i-ni-i-big (i = as in the sound of saying the letter “e” = iihh) which means “[deeply] love”
Understand what “mutual understanding” or “m.u.” is.
It's actually simple. “Mutual understanding” is that stage wherein two people are already comfortable with each other, but are still not officially dating. Usually, they do not know they like each other; however, there are those who choose it because they are not sure yet (especially permission from parents).
If the person you like decides to be in an M.U. relationship, don't take it negatively. It is a sign that they are considering dating you, just that, there are still things they need to settle on their end. Give them some time.
You need to clarify your relationship.
Never assume that you are dating. I've seen “couples” who never made it clear and later was shocked the other partner finally have a “boyfriend” or “girlfriend”. The surprised party felt “cheated” but in reality, no one cheated, they were never dating in the first place!
It is important to make your relationship clear.
Are you dating exclusively? “Exclusively”, meaning, there are no one else both parties are dating.
Or, are you in an “open relationship”? An “open relationship” is a relationship wherein you allow each other to have other dates.
Are you actually dating, M.U., or just friends?
Are you “officially” dating? “Officially”, meaning, both of your parents know (regardless if they agreed to it or not).
“PDA” or “Public Display of Affection”
This is publicly holding hands, hugging, kissing (cheeks, lips), being overly sweet with each other.
Filipinos are generally fine with it. If you don't like it, a Filipino date might misinterpret it as you not being proud of them. Thus, if it is not in your culture to show PDA, then make it clear with the Filipino you are dating, to avoid misunderstandings.
There are also some Filipinos who are not into PDA, so, you need to be open about it. And limits.
You are not just dating one person, you are dating the entire family.
Filipinos are family-centric. And when it comes to Filipino, be sure to treat their families well.
This is a good thing. If your partner is telling you what to do, it means they really want to date you.
That's just 5 when it comes to dating. Marriage proposal is a whole different matter. We have our own form “dowry”, although less practised today, it is still good to know, especially if the Filipino you want to marry is traditional. (They may not tell you anything because you're a foreigner, but deep inside they're expecting it.)
@youronlyone@pilipinas@pinoy > They also are the buffer between your and her family a difficult position to be in sometimes. Don't make it harder on her!
@youronlyone@pilipinas@pinoy .Yes sometimes people wonder why the other ( Filipina, Filipino) does something that seems strange. It may be as you say matter of her/ his family that brings this about! 😉👍😍
You bring forth some very good points, many do not think about when cultures differ! 👍
Family is everything, in a Filipino's life, coz when it all comes down. They may be the only ones they have to turn to, so don't disregard tor disrespect or you will LOSE!
@wlf_warren@pilipinas@pinoy Yep! Be it a man or a woman, the birth family (and in some families, the entire clan) is always a "home" and a shoulder to rely on. Even if that family broke down, or they don't have a good relationship, they're still who we can rely on.
Also, we don't have a concept of totally cutting ties, not even after marriage. Nor something similar to Korean culture, where one spouse is expected to legally transfer their "family" to the other clan.
@youronlyone@pilipinas@pinoy >Thank your reply, almost 28 years married to a Filipina. I still do not quite understand sometimes her actions when it comes to family but, she is BOSS and understand, trust her judgment. Just as we have talked about, the bridge for her. I am lucky we do have a good relationship as they know I try my best always to treat her well, and DO love her very much our three children born in the Philippines where we also married, in Mandaluyong. tc Godbless 🙏😊😉
Yep, it's a very Filipino thing. It even differs with our neighbours even those where we share many similarities with (like Korean culture, followed by Japanese, then Chinese).
Even within the Philippines, there are differences between regions. The 5 I shared above were only the common denominators. 🙂
If there are regional differences, there are also differences inside each region. Hahaha. Crazy, right?
The best is, observe. I consider myself a tourist when visiting other regions.
(Oh, and I think you've noticed, in Metro Manila, it's more "modern" than traditional. Like, kids these days are "dating" just because they held hands. LOL.)
@youronlyone@pilipinas@pinoy My wife has shown through action this deep family relationship and since mine was not close like this ( like many Westerners aren't) and a much deeper appreciation of family closeness and I admire and have become much closer to hers though we have lost several that we have buried. In some I have paid in all, or have helped to give them the funeral they deserve, especially her Mom and recently her father. 😊😉😍💯👍
Sorry to hear that. I think you were exposed to Filipino tradition and ways to remember the dearly departed. If in Japan, if I'm not mistaken they visit temples, and in Korea they set up an altar once a year at home and are solemn about it, we visit the cemetery and bring lots of food, some even play games.
Another thing interesting is that, in some Asian cultures, they bring food for the dearly departed; we bring food for ourselves. 😉 I think that's how the Filipino culture meshed the pre-Colonial traditions with Christianity's "they are a spirit and don't need to eat".
In the West, this is something I have no information about (and I don't see in movies and TV) , you don't have a remembrance of the departed, right? It's more of, you visit when you want to?
A Filipino tradition.
Never thought about to eat ourselves, a good point 👍💯 Where Filipino tradition differs spiritually from other Asian countries, w/ ties to Christianity. Spirits don't need food.
She goes to Memorial Gardens on every relatives anniversary of passing and birthday.
Something very important to her, as they are still with us...
just in a 'better' place as I always tell her😊
It has become an event, (or events) that we plan for every year.
My wife cooks Pancit, her Mom's favorite always and make a day (outing of it) which makes her very happy and I have actually come to enjoy very much w/ the family together for the day, sort of like a picnic.
If you can picture that lol...😂 at the cemetery.... 😉😊🙏😍
( We have family plots in Taguig's Memorial Gardens) 😉👍
Yep! Picnic at the cemetery. I do find it weird, especially when most are afraid of ghosts. Hahaha. There are even superstitions about it, like, don't step/sit on someone's grave or use it as a table for food, they'll haunt you later. ^_^;;
Ahh! Yeah, definitely different in practice. Every October 30th to November 2nd, it's cemetery day.
Personally, I like how Koreans do it. They set up at home, and they do it on the departed's death anniversary. Us, Filipinos, we flock to cemeteries on the same days! ^_^;;
@youronlyone@pilipinas@pinoy Yes, it does overshadow the Holloween traditional celebrations though, my wife still puts up decorations for it, then ALL SAINTS Day off to the cemetery seems kind of hypocritical doesn't it ??? ... hehehe 😂😋😋😋😁