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kasdeya

@kasdeya@tech.lgbt

Software tinkerer and aspiring rationalist. Shamelessly kinky on main (w/ CWs). Obsessed with vampires and succubi. Lover of cosmic horror, found footage, 2000's PC games, and dark music.

Alterhuman, transhumanist, singularitarian. Nonhuman identity-haver. Autistic. POTS sufferer.

If I ever fail to CW something, or I CW something wrong , please tell me so that I can learn from my mistake.

I try to always provide alt text. If I boost something without it, I should reply with #Alt4You

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kasdeya , to Random stuff
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if a piece of software ever asks you this question, the correct answer is "yes" 😨

kasdeya , to Random stuff
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I think about this every time I SSH

kasdeya , to Random stuff
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if you haven't played Scanner Sombre please get on that. it's a massively underrated, very innovative atmospheric horror-adjacent exploration game. best to play it without spoilers IMO

kasdeya , to The furry fandom
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twitter conversation between PrideLeggy2020 (@CertifiedLeggy) (they have a furry avatar) and @KateFooster: Pride: @KateFooster So what's your favorite animal kate: arctic fox because I used to play as that mf all the time on animal jam kate: FUCK WAIT YOU'RE A FURRY Pride: CONGRATULATIONS YOU NOW HAVE A FURSONA kate: SHUT THE FUCK UP NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO SHUT THE FUCK UP
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    • kasdeya , to Random stuff
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    when we try to befriend cats we mimic their meows and get down on the ground to their level and try to gently coax them to interact with us right that horrifying entity mimicking human noises at us maybe just thinks we're cool and wants to pet us? [then there's a beautifully-drawn comic showing strange, ghostlike entities mimicing human speech at a human woman. she goes up to them and they give her headpats saying "dude look at this!" "omg"]
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    • kasdeya , to Random stuff
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    I think it's funny when mobile game ads are like "join now and get 12,000 gorbino coins and three legend-shards for free!" as if I know or care what the fuck that means

    kasdeya , to Random stuff
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    🖼

    kasdeya , to Random stuff
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    me trying to get to know an NT

    kasdeya , to Discord
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    Skeuocord theme for

    This kind of aesthetic always makes me so nostalgic for the days of Windows Vista. Despite being a terrible OS, its aesthetic was A Vibe. Strangely, I miss it while also associating it with sleazy corporate software.

    Skeucord dark theme. Discord is beautifully rendered in a dark, shiny-black Frutiger Aero theme - kind of like Windows Vista.

    kasdeya , to Linux
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    pros:

    • not Windows

    Linux cons:

    • "I'm going to have to read this entire manual, aren't I?"

    • "why does every config file use a different syntax??"

    • "what do you mean there's no driver support? do you know how long I've had this hardware?!"

    • "oh for fucks' sake what's broken now??"

    • "I don't care what PulseAudio is! I just want to play games and watch videos! 😭"

    • "oh god what's a kernel panic"

    kasdeya , to Random stuff
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    kasdeya , to Random stuff
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    twitter post by just n.b. things @nonbinarythings reminder that you have the right to alter your body until you feel at home in it! whether that's clothes, makeup, haircuts, or more permanent things like piercings, tattoos, hormones, and surgeries! it's your flesh vessel and you are the only one who should get to design it!
    ALT
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    • kasdeya , to Random stuff
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    kasdeya , to Random stuff
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    A Tumblr post by BrambleSand: People, especially games, get eldritch madness wrong a lot and it's really such a shame. An ant doesn't start babbling when they see a circuit board. They find it strange, to them it is a landscape of strange angles and humming monoliths. They may be scared, but that is not madness. Madness comes when the ant, for a moment, can see as a human does. It understands those markings are words, symbols with meanings, like a pheromone but infinitely more complex. It can travel unimaginable distances, to lands unlike anything it has seen before. It knows of mirth, embarrassment, love, concepts unimaginable before this moment, and then... It's an ant again. Echoes of things it cannot comprehend swirl around its mind. It cannot make use of this knowledge, but it still remembers. How is it supposed to return to its life. The more the ant saw the harder it is for it to forget. It needs to see it again, understand again. It will do anything to show others, to show itself, nothing else in this tiny world matters. This is madness.
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    • kasdeya , to Random stuff
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    horseshoe crabs are chill (video might be upsetting if you don't like bugs or crabs)

    Some guy is at the beach and there's a horseshoe crab on its back, trying to turn right-side-up again. He demonstrates that horseshoe crabs are harmless by sticking his hand straight into the crab's legs. (they have 12 and btw horseshoe crabs look like parasite monsters from another dimension, except they're also weirdly cute idek. they're basically like if the facehuggers from Alien were designed to sell plushies) All of the legs have little pincers at the end, and they all grab his hand and pinch it. He's totally fine though, and he explains that the crab is just trying to pull against his hand to get right-side-up again. Then he helps the crab get right-side-up and the crab just chills there.

    kasdeya , to Random stuff
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    just had to sit through my family explaining why it's actually a good thing for employers to discriminate based on zip code and "black accent". I have to live with these people but sometimes I really want to strangle them /ex

    kasdeya , to Random stuff
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    Manila, Philippines. Photographer unknown

    A picture of a three-layered concrete monstrosity. Walkways and streets sprawl in every direction, layered on top of each other. Garish colored lights - green and red - harshly bathe the night scene The walls are crammed with conduits, air conditioners, wires, and unidentifiable infrastructure On the middle layer, wires are stretched haphazardly between a bridge and something out of sight. On the bottom layer is a claustrophobic-looking marketplace, full of glaring shop signs and general city life
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    • kasdeya , to Rats
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    post by either halodite or MagicAct idk how to read this. one of them boosted it and the other posted it. i think there is something about people who were abused/neglected as kids that makes us embrace things that others consider monstrous. i don't think its a coincidence most of us like “creepy” animals like rats and crows. i don't think its a coincidence that we are the first to jump to the defense of “worthless” plants like dandelions. it's why we get so attached to old toys and broken things. when you spend your whole life believing you’re not wanted, it turns you into a defender of the other unwanted things in the world. and you’re not just protecting them - you’re protecting the part of yourself that still believes you deserve to exist. just like they do. just like we all do.
    ALT
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    • kasdeya , to Random stuff
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    implies abusive family, no-contact, it's empowering though

    kasdeya , to Random stuff
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    first date idea: I show you how to shoplift all the stuff we're too poor to afford at walmart

    kasdeya , to Random stuff
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    The Clans' Many Fangs by feyspeaker

    image/png
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    kasdeya , to Random stuff
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    series of three tumblr posts by SpookyButtons: thinking about the time they sent me a seven year old autistic patient to investigate if he was suffering abuse because in every psychological test he kept drawing awful monsters and I start the consultation already miserable as fuck and I give the kid some pen and paper so I can maybe communicate and see what's on his mind and then I go WAIT A GODDAMN SECOND I KNOW THOSE MONSTERS turns out the kid just had a special interest in Five Nights at Freddy's I pointed at the monster and went "That's Freddy!" and I've never seen a kid that ecstatic in my life the mom looked at me as if her son and | belonged at the same satanic cult and that's why | knew the names of the demons in his head | wrote back to psychologist like "I'm not sure how to explain this but looking up five nights at freddys might bring you progress with this patient" at some point the nurses realized the autistic children and I were like, Really Vibing so they decided to highkey just appoint all of them to my day and it took me almost a month to realize that the fact that I kept arriving and finding that all of today’s appointments were autistic children was Not A Coincidence [there's too much text to transcribe the rest of this but basically she connects with another kid whose special interest is angels, because she knows what a nephilim is from Supernatural fanfics]
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    • kasdeya , to Random stuff
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    lewd joke

    kasdeya , to Random stuff
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    learns about a new superhero

    immediately thinks about how their powers could be used in bed

    kasdeya , to Random stuff
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    : here's the character creation screen! let your imagination run wild! you can be anyone, who specializes in anything! :)

    me: I'll be someone smart but physically weak. I'll talk my way out of problems and have low combat stats

    2, three minutes later: alright motherfucker grab a spear let's see if you can survive T H E G A U N T L E T

    kasdeya , to Random stuff
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    "Anything worth doing is worth doing badly."

    tumblr post by bananonbinary: one of the hardest things to learn as a depressed former Gifted Kid™ is that half-assed is better than nothing. take the 50%, 40%, even 20% job. scrubbing your face is better than not taking a shower at all. picking up your clothes is better than never cleaning. nibbling on some bread is better than starving. DO THINGS HALFWAY. NOW YOU'RE 100% BETTER OFF THAN YOU WERE BEFORE. reply by aredheadhatchet: One of my college professors used to say “anything worth doing is worth doing poorly.” I didn’t understand that for years because I didn’'t do anything poorly, I couldn’t do anything poorly, I had to Do Everything Perfectly. But brushing your teeth for 30 seconds is better than not brushing them at all when that 2 minutes seems exhausting. Doing ten minutes of yoga is better than 10 minutes of sitting when 30 minutes of cardio sounds impossible. Changing my clothes is good when a whole shower is impossible. Standing on the porch for a few minutes is worth it after being in the house for three straight days because | don’t have the energy to go anywhere. Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly... because doing it poorly is better than not doing it.
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    • kasdeya , to Random stuff
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    cute alien girl

    kasdeya , to Random stuff
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    video games allow me to experience impossible fantasies, such as:

    • leaving the house
    • earning money
    • spending time with friends
    • tangibly helping people
    • being attractive
    • buying and wearing cute clothes
    kasdeya , to Random stuff
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    I just had a realization today: Neurotypicals have always felt passionless, bland, and un-knowledgable to me, and I think I finally understand why. They aren't (necessarily) any of these things - they just don't volunteer information like we do.

    If you ask them about an interest, they won't excitedly share a paragraph or two about something new they learned - they'll give you a superficial sentence or two about what the interest is, or how they're about to go to an interest-related meetup. I instinctively read that as a lack of passion and a kind of dilettante-ness, but I realize now that that's probably just how they communicate. I'm not sure how to get them to really talk deeply about their interests - is there even a way? I wonder if infodumping is seen as rude by NTs, so they try to avoid it. That would be interesting if so.

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