#ActuallyAutistc @actuallyautistic
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"Autism runs in families."
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It's true, it's not untrue. But what do you think Allism does? Direct hotline from God, or what?
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It's part of the pathologizing, part of speaking in the language of the oppressor that you see, "Autism runs in families," a hundred times more than that Allism does - or that in biology and life, EVERYTHING "runs in families."
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Out of all the things that do - everything does - how many times and to what end must we say "Autism runs in families?"
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Why does it matter that we problem children "run in families," but not that cops "run in families?"
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Or that soldiers "run in families?
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They are cherry-picking evolution and genetics to speak this way, as though evolution and genetics are not what makes everything and everyone, but just drops into life once in a while to cause trouble. Damned genetics!
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I mean, try this: my siblings and cousins tormented me terribly keeping me in meltdown for most of my childhood - what, because "I" "run in families?"
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Or because Mom's family was Allistic, clever and abusive and hyper?
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It's at least really both, right?
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But let's back out, way out, to the edge of the solar system, take a long view. Who is running increasingly in families, who is taking over families?
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Who perhaps was not in the majority before twelve to fifteen thousand years ago, but is now, and so must be taking over families? Modern Man, yes, with his aggressive nature and superpowers to dominate the world?
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In this sense it's not just the language of pathology, not just a bias but a reversal, one of those conservative accusations that is really a confession, projection, who, "runs in families."
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So I see a completely different scenario in my childhood and my siblings' stories - from years or decades of therapy - are crap, ignoring my trauma and what my trauma did to everyone, and so I have to say: years and/or decades of therapy are no guarantee that an Allistic person is telling the truth š
. #ActuallyAutistc @actuallyautistic
No single Creator made this world. Nothing has an eternal Nature, and no-one needs to be controlled for it. The human world is made by humans, if weāre evil or broken, thatās on us and us alone, and to a great degree we are those things and it is on us, something weāre doing. Something we are, most of us say, the Nature thing again, but no, Iām sorry, thatās off the table, at least it is in my kitchen and thatās where you are right now, itās something we do.
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In evolution, otherwise known as life, what we do and what we are travel together. What you do is what you are, what you do is what you are becoming.
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What we do is a lot of abuse to control the assumed Nature, and that eternal Nature isnāt really there, so whatās left? A lot of abuse to be what we are, to be what we are becoming, which, too obvious, but saying two plus two is a writerās job, so: abuse victims and abusers. Itās on us, and no-one else. And again, always, itās evolution, this isnāt something that happens to some eternal model of human in every life, all this is cumulative. In theory, and surely in an invisible reality, in the potful of water and frogs, every generation in a world of controlling abuse gets more so, more abusive, more abused.
Also, sorry to say, this doesnāt happen in the wild, and education wonāt do it. Iām very much a privileged person, I donāt know anyone who didnāt go to school, but they all believe in the Nature. This happens at the top of our society, in the institutions. It is precisely the institutions of control that are at the centre of it. Who is rioting? The police, right? The peacekeepers, leading the charge for abuse in general.
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I mean, Law is based in the Natures, and as such is against natural law, meaning evolution. Law makes crime and criminals, and always, life is evolution, so it makes them cumulatively. It is amazing to watch police budgets take over everything, and they cannot imagine that itās just stupid and misguided. They say: the people are getting worse, we need more money, as though the change happened in their absence, as if they have only been trying their way for a month.
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The simple logic, police are here, and people are getting worse, thatās two plus two in evolution, otherwise known as real life, but there is this matter of neurotype. Two plus two isnāt simple for everyone.
I kind of miss sometimes how in the old place, random celebrities would sometimes pop up in my mentions (even some of the ones I didn't know were celebrities and had to look up) š¤Ŗ #RandomThoughts
I often have a very different idea of who is a celebrity than most people have.
Examples: that physicist whose books I've read, the managing editor of that scientific journal I've heard of, that one (more than one actually) stand-up comedian that no one has ever heard of, that obscure author whose books I love, et al.
#ActuallyAutistc @actuallyautistic
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Neurotype parses Human Nature.
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You can't be divergent and talk about some universal Human Nature, "Nature," in these sentences means neurotype, it means what comes naturally and what doesn't - that's neurotype.
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If you call yourself divergent, you have to give it up, all the talk about Human Nature, or you don't exist.
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Sorry.
#ActuallyAutistc @actuallyautistic
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I donāt know about you, but my self diagnosis was anything but fast or easy. It was sixty year goddam treasure hunt where anyone who knew or could have known anything made a point of keeping it a secret.
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No matter the troubles I was having, the messaging from family (who absolutely all knew) and doctors and psychologists was all NT conformism:You are Normal. We are All the Same.
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Self diagnosis is about as easy as a salmon finding its breeding spot after a thousand miles of white water. Itās an against all odds kind of deal, at least for us olds.
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Neurotypes are the biggest secret in the world, because We are All the Same, they say. They donāt like self diagnosis because itās when we win the game of Hide and Seek, we are Kicking the Can when we self discover, winning the game.
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šā¤ļø
@btaroli@johnnyprofane1
canāt really be true, can it, but itās like Dexter - āI donāt run, I MAKE people run?ā
I donāt mask, I MAKE people
mask?
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Itās got to be a thing, right?
. #ActuallyAutistc @actuallyautistic
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(read up)
I am basically rewriting human origins for neurodiversity, to include and account for it, and I have my own ideas, and frankly, the ideas pulled from my Autistic ass are as good as those pulled from Allistic ones. why not?
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Iāll just declare shit - like the Neolithic Revolution indicates the ascendancy of the Allistic and therefore the modern world - and frankly so what if most of the world doesnāt see it that way, this makes sense to me - and thatās their final test also, the existing origin stories are only what makes sense to the majority.
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Itās all pretty much mythology, and your myths ought to match your neurology. I always felt that not many of humanityās myths were for me, and now I know why.
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If you donāt think youāre made for their Fourth of July celebrations, maybe youāre not made for their bronze age patriarchal mythology either. We are NOT All the Same, and no soldierās myths are āfor everyone.ā
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Come to the Dark Side, where you are the teacher. ā¤ļø
. #ActuallyAutistc @actuallyautistic
Neurotype changes everything.
It's not an informational or an educational problem. Because neurotype.
It's not just that nobody has ever heard anything before, geezuz.
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If we cannot address the cause of these "educational problems," we haven't got a chance.
. #ActuallyAutistc @actuallyautistic #AutisticThinking
Thinking out loud, carrying on with "my conversation," like LeStat's "our conversation," with his BFF, LOL
. #ActuallyAutistc @actuallyautistic
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While taking another run at figuring out my own mask, it struck me that "my theory," while it tends to feel like a string of epiphanies, is really just me finding out how my Autistic brain sees all the same things other people talk about, that it's not some "discovery," as I thought pre-hatching, that surely there have always been Autistics like me and these "discoveries," have been made a million times but have disappeared in a billion NT assertions.
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And then how much is a "mask," is just thinking and talking like an NT person, because that's all there is, like if I had learned it their way, I'd be masking, not by pretending anything, just by having been raised by them, the boy raised by wolves - is he "masking," as a wolf? How much is a mask not a pretense but just playing the only game in town, or only knowing what you have ever seen and heard?
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To what extent to we build our own masks and to what extent are they built and provided for us?
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Honestly when I broke down and burned out, I felt like Truman, the Jim Carrey character, there was an illusion, but it wasn't mine, I didn't lie, they . . . built a lie around me for themselves, sort of.
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Sorry . . . spitballing . . .
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talking about "high functioning," is a betrayal that they don't have the neurotype concept, that Autism is only the new R-word in their mind, a matter of something like low IQ, a less powerful or functional mind of basically the same type.
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Mostly, when NTs say "Autistic," they still mean "R-worded." Concepts are stubborn, evolved brain paths, they do not change internally by learning a new word for them.
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In fact, maybe replacing words has the opposite effect that we want.
After all, when we cancel the old word, we stop tracking the concept, the meaning, and that evolved brain path meaning sits there in people's minds, WAITING for the new word they are allowed to use.
I think by cancelling the word we bury the word and not the meaning, we need the bad meaning to stay with the old word, so cancelling is perhaps exactly wrong.
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This "in fact," section was new, thinking out loud.
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I'll keep puttering at it.
. #ActuallyAutistc @actuallyautistic
I've had zero life for eight years, but nonetheless it just keeps getting weirder.
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While talking about psychology and abuse and therapy my entire life, my siblings hid from me my true origins and any chance I might have of understanding myself for real.
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While knowing I was born an R-word (it was the 60s) these assholes have been hating on me as a man, as a white man, pretending they were punching UP on me all our lives, AND THEY FUCKING KNEW who was normal and who was fucked from the word "go."
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It wasn't even random, my condition, there was a reason AND THEY FUCKING KNEW THAT TOO. The one I still talk to, the one who's been my only contact all my life, dropped the reason recently, perhaps by accident.
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I mean - I forgot, or I never understood how fucked up I was either, but I forgot and they didn't think to mention it FOR THE REST OF OUR GODDAM LIVES.
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They watched me stupidly get married and try to live and when it all fell apart, they said, yeah, well you should have been so patriarchal, or some shit, shouldn't have been such a normal, mean old man.
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Even when it was all gone to shit and I'm staring at the void, they're still holding the family secret, he's normal. The secret was a poison, could have been heritable - watched me breed, he's normal.
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I come from fucking hillbillies.
. #ActuallyAutistic @actuallyautistic
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I'm sorry and thank you.
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@actuallyautistic #ActuallyAutistc
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Well, that was a tough conversation. I didn't want to go there, but it was inevitable that I would immediately, it touches on everything.
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Not as harsh as this will sound, but I got a classic answer: that was Mom's job, to tell me that.
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Harsh enough, though.
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I listened a second time to the episode with Monique Botha of the podcast "2 sides of the spectrum". The topic is about research and professionals and if they fit what autistics need and want. It's very critical at what has been done. A great listen or read:
If you can recommend any books / art / music by Autistic people, I'd love to hear about it.
If there already is a resource for Autistic culture, I'd love to know about it. If there isn't one, I'll consolidate what I find here & elsewhere on my website / blog.
Something about communication that confuses me. In real life or in person I should say, we can't jump into a conversation with a group of strangers easily if at all. It's frowned upon and considered weird. Yet social media is mostly made up of this. Why is there a difference? Why is it acceptable to jump in online? I'm glad it is though or I'd never be able to talk to people.
Reminder: If you are looking for a job, ONLY disclose that you are ND if and only if to HR when you have a contract in your hand as you may require reasonable accommodations.
This protects you and stops the company discriminating against us... which they absolutely fucking will do.
To pull the contract at this stage is a legal nightmare for a company. Same as hiring a pregnant / potentially pregnant woman.