Ok so what are some signals and reasons for signals that’s your partner wants you to do something?
Perhaps it’s the way they hold their coffee or change thier tone or give you looks to let them know what you want or what they are trying to signal to your brain to essentials observe and understand what’s going to happen next
It can be anything I’m curious if any couples made any cognitive life hacks 😵💫😒
How can stuff be more accessible for neurodivergent people? I think this gets pushed aside sometimes in favour of more visible accessibility needs
If you run a club or have recurring events, ‘we have a calendar for you to check’ can be a lot less accessible than ‘we run regular events, sign up for weekly reminders / reminders for upcoming events’.
Less need to remember to go check something, on a schedule, to keep up to date, which can be hard for folks with executive dysfunction- among others, those with ADHD. Issues reasoning about time can impact this, too.
It can seem like a style preference or a design choice, but it can be really helpful!
Do you have things you wish people knew could make the world more accessible to neurodivergent people?
Is it something with the weather? Is it the pollen? I'm having a mare of a week for concentration. I can't focus on anything, flitting from one thing to another, forgetting things I should be doing. Coffee is not helping like it usually does. It doesn't help that I can't sit for a long time without stiffening up (still post op hip rep, but getting there). Also, the maddening tongue on tooth rubbing stim is back. Open to suggestions @actuallyadhd#ActuallyADHD#ADHD#neurodivergent
Getting any kind of ongoing practical support feels nigh impossible for those of us who have mostly low (but variable) support needs, yet are articulate enough to be able to say that
It’s hard to admit that openly 😔
Every so often I gather the spoons to be able to go and beg someone else for help, but it hasn’t worked yet
I don't know why I took me so long to do this, but I decided to override the websites I visit with the OpenDyslexic font so stuff is easier to read today.
I'd been using it for awhile in my eBook reader, as well as using text to speech for the days when my focus is totally junk and I need two avenues of input to pay attention.
I'd added a text to speech extension to my browser (that I forget to use), but I'd totally forgotten I could override the font, too.
I don't think these accommodations are necessarily things I need all of the time, and a lot of the time I forget they're an option, but oh my gosh it's so much easier to focus when I use the accommodations.
I've been (understandably, I think!) rather shy about mentioning this, but somebody please tell me I'm not the only grown-ass adult who still sleeps with a "security blanket".
It's got to be a sensory thing, having something like that tucked in the crook of my elbow or at the very least just touching my arm or hand, depending on what position I'm lying in.
I've tried going without (mostly when the laundry is delayed), but it just feels wrong. Like, even if I'm in a position where I'm mostly not interacting with it, I know it's not there and it's just weird.
Please tell me there's at least one other person out there who can relate to this!
I've been sleeping badly this week, waking up thinking about work at 3 in the morning unable to get to sleep for hours. I only this morning connected it to a meeting at work that I am worried about.
I came in this morning to find the other person had to cancel and wants to rearrange for next week. Looks like I get another week of this, then...
Reminder: If you are looking for a job, ONLY disclose that you are ND if and only if to HR when you have a contract in your hand as you may require reasonable accommodations.
This protects you and stops the company discriminating against us... which they absolutely fucking will do.
To pull the contract at this stage is a legal nightmare for a company. Same as hiring a pregnant / potentially pregnant woman.
Today I want to do everything, because it’s all interesting, and ofc I panic because one little loops cannot actually fit everything, and then I am aaaaaa so I don’t want to be doing anything but then I am simultaneously understimulated from doing nothing and overwhelmed by the task of selecting something and overstimulated by the panic of not being able to pick something. You could say it’s off to a start.
For people that are not @actuallyadhd the common medication feels different that for those who are #actuallyADHD - non ADHDers feel like on Coke, very energetic and highly vibrant, similar to using Speed, while ADHDers tend to get calm and focused, able to concentrate at all.
Question [I haven't googled yet]: What is it with antidepressants - if people without a depression take those, do they feel LOTS happier than ever or something different?
This article expresses my criticisms of #MentalHealth really well. #diagnosis is given based on external evaluation of the individual's dis-order or, as Frazer-Carroll writes in Mad World, the degree of inability that person has to engage in the Western capitalist system.
When I received my #ADHD and #autism diagnoses my difficulties started to make sense to me. It wasn't until I started to connect with the #actuallyadhd and #actuallyautistic communities, however, that my experience started to make sense.
I still feel uncomfortable with taking on these diagnoses as descriptors of my experience; they are more like shorthand to help connect with a community and to speak to others when describing the things I struggle with.
This is why I think the the #neurodiversity movement is so important because it seeks to define us not on our disability but celebrates what makes us unique.
I'm interested in others' thoughts. What does your diagnosis (clinical or self-made) mean to you?
@actuallyadhd do we have a word for “not ADHD” the same way that “allistic” means “not autistic”? It can be really handy to differentiate from straight neurotypical, imo
It’s usually really hard for me to differentiate my experience of being #actuallyAutistic from being #actuallyADHD, but I just realised a major way that they interact:
I do autistic masking - e.g. at a job, or at school - but only while it’s novel. Once I’ve been somewhere a while, I lose the attention span required to do it, and lose all interest - idk if this is more common among #actuallyAuDHD folks than others, I’m often left feeling like “I don’t mask” whereas really it’s “often, I can’t mask due to my impulsivity”
For me, the most accommodating environment is one where I can get things done "eventually" - not on a timer.
This makes finding tech work hard - the output is often sold well in advance, with a promise to deliver that logically, it feels is futile - even if you did everything in your power, weather and worse happens and can't always be accounted for.
It's even worse when folks assume my capability is the same as theirs - another thing that feels like an obvious error, from my point of view.
I don’t think I’m able to live 100% independently, but I also have no idea how to communicate this to anyone who might need to know as a way of me getting help
I’m able to communicate verbally and express myself eloquently, as well as understand jokes and superficial social settings - so any troubles I do have are usually interpreted as me not trying hard enough. How do I convince people that, no, I need assistance doing this thing - not assistance trying harder at the thing?
@ephant@actuallyautistic@neurodivergents I saw someone today talk about how neurotypicals can get really frustrated with #ActuallyADHD folks for “flippantly” being excited that all that is left is to do thing thing once they’ve planned it out, broken down the steps, acquired the resources etc.
They think the doing is the hard part, so being excited for the easy part to start reads to them as condescending - because ofc everyone must think the same things are hard as they do
To the point where they literally often can’t understand that the planning and convincing ourselves to start is the hardest part, and that’s where they start disengaging- because if we’re going to be disingenuous about it, why should they bother? (And autists are the ones with poor theory of mind / empathy, psssht)
Anyway I don’t know what to do with that but you also know it now 🙃😅
(I know it’s not quite the same direction as what you were saying, it just reminded me of it)
So, what are y'all doing tonight? I'm just here at home having a peaceful night, just the two of us, listening to music, with my partner, having dolmades, brie, a bit of champagne and wine, hoping the noise isn't too much out there.
@alice@actuallyautistic
I just took the Female ADHD Test. I got a 62 out of 72, and had to avoid bursting into tears several times.
Meanwhile I was going to take the AQ test, and started answering strong no to several things, but got bored and moves on. #ActuallyADHD
I remain incredibly frustrated by the fact that "Hyperactivity" being added really screwed with a bunch of diagnosis in the past.