thebeaverton.com

HOLLYWOOD – With his Netflix comedy film Unfrosted debuting to abysmal reviews, 70-year-old comedian Jerry Seinfeld blames the failure on “extreme left, and PC college campus audiences”, unlike in his heyday, when the teenage girls he dated were fans of his comedy.

FRESNO, CA – Across the United States young people who will turn eighteen by November 5 are expressing their excitement at being able to vote in the last presidential election of their lifetimes....

read more: https://www.thebeaverton.com/2024/04/ford-doubles-down-on-refusal-to-build-fourplexes-until-someone-explains-to-him-what-they-are/

OTTAWA – Right wing pundit and columnist Hank Vrinden has entered into the increasingly heated conversation among conservative activists and commentators about the breakdown of traditional family values, in a recent column decrying the rising divorce rate in his house....

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HUNTSVILLE, ALABAMA – Due to recent changes in Alabama state legislation, a malfunctioning embryo freezer has been charged with mass murder.

cross-posted from !theonion

"MOSCOW – Officials from the Kremlin, under the close supervision of Russian President Vladimir Putin, have concluded an autopsy of Alexei Navalny, concluding that the recently-deceased opposition leader spontaneously sentenced himself to 30 years in a remote Siberian gulag before then ingesting his own poison that he brought...

TORONTO – Reacting to news of Toronto Mayor Olivia Chow’s plan to hike property taxes by more than 10%, the 9 or so people that collectively own all Toronto real estate expressed outrage, saying that Chow is making the city unaffordable....

After Pierre Poilievre described an electrician as someone who “captures lightning from the sky and runs it through a copper wire to illuminate this room and light up the world” we sat down with him and asked him to describe how he thinks other kinds of workers do their job. Here are his responses:...