Yesterday I was wearing sunglasses when I went to the city centre as it was sunny. Oh my, what a difference it made to the sensory overdrive. As I mentioned earlier, I like to watch around but had finally noticed that I keep grounding myself by looking at ground due to all the visual input. Sunglasses took the edge off and it was way easier to look at things.
it sucks having an unpopular opinion on the internet because i just assume everyone would hate me if they know
unpopular as in, if there's some kind of controversial topic with two sides, my opinion would draw ire from each of those sides
this is a common thing for me to experience because i'm autistic and i think about things differently than most other people, including other autists (we're obviously not a monolith!)
i think this is a very social-media problem, even on fedi where controversial content isn't pushed by an algorithm, because i think clout-chasing and virtue-signaling still influence overall community attitudes. unfortunately, due to various factors, social-media is one of the few options available for me to socialize at all right now
it gets very, very lonely to see people i might otherwise want to get to know clearly indicating that i need to mask up and pretend to agree, otherwise they'll bite my head off
at first it feels like it's not worth sharing those opinions and risking the drama-- and then it feels like it's not worth getting to know people in the first place
Usually, when I fall asleep there are gaps in my consciousness. It goes: awake, gap, dream, gap, awake.
In other words, there is no continuity of consciousness between the wakeful state and the dream state.
However, last night there was a continuity. I was able to have conscience of myself falling asleep, entering dreamland, dreaming, coming out of dreamland, and being awake again. This cycle repeated itself three times.
Previously, the closest I came to this was that sometimes I'd be conscious of pulling back at the last minute. In this case, I wouldn't actually fall asleep, I'd progressively go towards sleep, but pull back at the last minute.
I read about a new detailed map of the human brain. As expected, the "normal brains" were contrasted with "disordered" ones and how eventually they might learn "what's wrong" with them.
URGENT! please help Tasia with basic necessities like food and healthcare! she is disabled and has struggled with housing. she hasnt gotten any donations for a while and is losing hope. she needs your support. anything helps!
Autistic masking leads to significant harm to an #ActuallyAutistic human's sense of identity & mental health
It is a survival strategy that forces us to prioritize NT expectations over authentic self-expression, often leading to profound self-alienation & diminished self-worth.
Please stop with the euphemisms. We know what we are, we don't need it explained to us. It is patronising when people try and define our identity for us.
URGENT! please help Tasia with basic necessities and healthcare! is disabled and has struggled with housing. she hasnt gotten any donations for a while and is losing hope. she needs your support.
Mentioned to a coworker that I'm getting some books, for example on autism, and as they showed interest in the topic, proceeded to lightly info dump. Did give some space so that it was a true conversation. However, it reminded me of a thing I've been pondering.
As I present male, I've always been overly cautious of not mansplaining -- or at least ever since I learned about the term. Now that I know I'm autistic, I understand it's entangled with having learned that NTs don't like infodumping.
Whatever the cause, I have a tendency to stay silent even if I know about the topic at hand but aren't 100% certain that it's appropriate to talk about it. Sometimes it makes me sad.
I saw a post somewhere not long ago that suggested a key component of mansplaining was not being sensitive to the fact that the recipient already knows about the topic.
I too often remain silent though I'm knowledgeable and have something to contribute. I think it comes from all the failed social interactions in my past, including unwanted infodumps.
Newest episode of #InTheKaleidoscope went up on Monday. A podcast wherein ND parent (me) and NT adult child (her) discover stuff about each other.
We got to a really interesting place. I'm fascinating with what I'm learning about her. And she says she always wanted to be autistic. Well, we didn't have that word back then. But she wanted to be like me. To have a brain like mine. Which I guess is a usual thing for a kid to want? To be like their parent? But how much she wanted it surprised me. That she even noticed what my brain was like surprised me. Anyway, give it a listen.
Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 200 , Wednesday 15/05/2024
Up early again , breakfast, chores , whole 9 yards.
I’ve been referred to the local cardiology dept for my dizzy spells , phone appointment next month, I don’t hold out much hope that they will get anywhere, but never say never hey !
Octopus Energy , after an initially promising start, have totally failed to get our smart meter system working properly. Both meters appear to be transmitting so that at least is an improvement but the IHD is only showing electric readings. In the latest episode the help desk lass - ‘Edna’ gave me the instructions to set up a budget …. Despite me sending her a photo showing that the IHD is NOT seeing the gas meter at all!
I mean will setting a budget magically get the comms going between the gas meter & the IHD ? I think not !
Final Thoughts.
Why is it so hard to get seemingly simple things done in this world ?
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
I don't have the spoons to explain why I feel my neurodivergence is making this worse, but I need feedback or insight from other ND people on a unique experience. This will be a long thread (added in replies) but I'm hopeful there will be a few kind readers who either relate or have something supportive to share.
Here goes:
1/ @actuallyautistic@actuallyaudhd #recoveringfromreligion #LateDiagnosedAutism #actuallyautistic#neurodivergent
Whenever I have doubts, I go back to all my sensory processing differences. Those aren't masked: those are authentic. Perhaps that approach could ease your mind?
hello, I'm Jiub. I've been on fedi for a few months but this is my first introduction :3
I'm very gay, nonbinary/genderfluid, sex positive, poly, etc. I'm an elder millennial and I live in Chicago with my great long term boyfriend <3
follow me if you want to see me be a silly gay hot mess. I'm going through a lot of gender rn and will start HRT soon so there will be a lot about that where I'll be manic and sharing way too much information and infodumping :3
fedi made me realize I'm probably AuHD like everyone else here, and I also have anxiety and depression.
for interests besides being gay, I like computers (modern/retro), linux/open source, gaming (mainly RPGs and overcomplicated city/colony sims but I dabble in all genres), urbanism/public transit, leftist politics.
I'll CW politics posts as much as possible, for my and others' sanity.
I try to be a very kind and helpful person, but I have my limits and have no interests in interacting with bigots or reactionaries.
If you want to meet lots of lovely autistic people here (plus me 😆), you could do worse than follow the @actuallyautistic group and the #ActuallyAutistic hashtag. We're cool with self-diagnosis and with people who think they may be autistic and are interested in learning more. And many of us are #AuDHD.