I'm not sure what to make of this video about autism diagnosis from Rebecca Quinn. I'm watching a lot of autistic youtubers to check them out, and this is the first of her videos I watched. Strong start, good information, engaging use of humor.
But the latter half of the video got weird. The first half was basically why self-diagnosis is valid and even necessary, and doesn't hurt anyone. But the second half was largely about how getting an official diagnosis is a privilege and refusing to get a diagnosis when you can is somehow letting people down.
This seems like a strange conclusion. Rebecca even got into how getting a diagnosis can have negative consequences because of laws that infantilize and restrict us. She also mentions how it can take as much as a couple years to get an assessment for a diagnosis, because there is not enough capacity to diagnose everyone. So, it seems there are actually reasons not to get an official diagnosis.
But Rebecca says everyone who can get an official diagnosis should get one, because that normalizes gettting one. As if getting an official diagnosis is a good thing that should be normalized. That's begging the question.
The other thing she leaves out is how getting a diagnosis often gets you NO SUPPORT at all, so what's even the point of it? There aren't any support programs for autistic adults, especially us late-dx folk. And even having a diagnosis doesn't get you accommodations at work if they have no ability to give you what you need and would rather fire you and then fight you in court than change how they operate.
Some people really do need an official diagnosis to access accommodations or care, or for other reasons. And it can take a few years to get that diagnosis. It seems ridiculous to tell everyone they should use up that limited capacity for a confirmation diagnosis that does nothing else beyond checking a box, when that takes away that opportunity from someone who actually needs it.
The most compelling reason she gave to seek a diagnosis was to check if it's some other mental illness or disorder that can be mistaken for autism but has a different treatment, or if it's something comorbid with autism. It's a reasonable concern, but I want to see some data about how effective psycholgists are at diagnosing someone accurately in that situation. Is it worth taking those diagnosis slots away from people who need them if they usually don't give any useful information?
URGENT! please help Tasia with basic necessities like food and healthcare! she is disabled and has struggled with housing. she needs your support. anything helps!
A new study found that autistic folks (well, mice models) develop PTSD brain structures significantly more eaaily than ballistic ones. That even comparatively minor stressors of the right type can cause this.
My post yesterday about delayed processing of anger was not happenstance.
My ex-bf did something on Friday that showed he has no regards for my feelings. In my book, he effectively lied about why he did not want to be with me. If you have feelings of déjà vu, you're right on the money. This is similar to what happened with the ex-gf I called my sweetest success, and my bitterest failure. She lied about our breakup.
I was raging with anger yesterday. If we had an interaction I would have rained hellfire on the boy.
What would I have accomplished? I would have made a bad situation even worse. Oh, I would have felt a dose of self-satisfaction, but at what cost? It wouldn't have fixed anything.
I expect we're going to talk again. I expect that when we do, instead of raining hellfire, I'll express my hurt and my disappointment. Truth be told, even if I had rained hellfire, I would have expressed my hurt and my disappointment, but a message embedded in a thick layer of hellfire is unlikely to be heard.
I'm going also to tell him that the friendship between him and I is over. I can't abide liars. I can't abide people who are blind to my feelings.
Maybe those who decide to cut contact with me after a breakup are onto something. If they lied about our breakup, those lies could be exposed.
I've written about the uselessness of anger before:
I wonder if the movement to ban conversion therapy will also ban ABA therapy for autistic people (the gold standard of autistic services that is conversion therapy, developed by the same people as the conversion therapy for queer people). I know queer people who are against conversion therapy who work at an ABA school for autisitc people in Minneapolis called Fraser. Pointing out their hypocrisy ended our friendships. #ActuallyAutistic
Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 203 , Saturday 18/05/2024
Ruff as a bears bum today, no energy, no appetite, everything I do hurts.
It’s probably only man-flu again, I seem to catch every bug going at the moment & regular Squirrel Spotters will be aware that I’m a bit of a wuss when it comes to common or garden illness. 🙄🤦♂️
I keep plodding along, hoping that I catch a break at some point.
I am better this afternoon, this morning I felt like death warmed up, lunch was 5/6 of 2 rounds of toast - don’t ask - & tea will be venturing into the dubious gastronomic delights of a can of tommy soup.
I am a little brighter & well enough to write my diary, so that is an improvement.
Final Thoughts.
Please can someone hail a Delorean to transport me back to my 40s ?
I have to say that I am in total awe of those folk I know who live with chronic pain, chronic depression is a walk in the park in comparison, you peeps are the bravest folk I know!
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖
This video essay about the social politics of #autism diagnosis by an adorably nerdy trans guy is kind of amazing. It's quite heady and full of critical analysis, post-structuralism, feminist theory, and stuff like that. It's also very funny, if you're into self-deprecating, ironic humor. #AlexanderAvila mostly does videos about queer stuff, but he's really nailed the autism vlogger thing with this one. (James Somerton wishes he was even half this good at video essays.) #ActuallyAutistic
I can tell when I need to lower the volume of something I'm listening to when I feel a kind of tightening in my ear muscles, and/or ringing in my ears, or a slight feeling of stress coming in from my environment.
I also just try to remember to always proactively lower the volume a couple ticks from what i first set it at, to prevent all those sensations.
What are the signs for you that things are a little too loud?
URGENT! please help Tasia with basic necessities like food and healthcare! she is disabled and has struggled with housing. she hasnt gotten any donations for a while and is losing hope. she needs your support. anything helps!
I think the evidence is mounting that in some circumstances I can be rather slow to process emotions.
Sometimes it is not until the day after something happened that I get angry. During this "something" I keep a placid demeanor. This demeanor is not a strategy or a conscious decision.
Then, the next day, I realize how this very thing gives rise to emotions, often anger.
I'm wondering if it relates to alexithymia. I'm not confused about what I feel, but the feeling may get delayed.
Or maybe it is a combination of:
people pleasing,
autistic inertia,
alexithymia
Just thinking out lout about one of my characteristics here.
Am reading "Emily Wilde's Encyclopedia of Faeries" by Heather Fawcett. Absolutely loving it.
I'm not sure if the writer did this on purpose, but the main character is heavily autistic coded. Emily Wilde finds it easier to deal with the capricious Fae, than with mystifying human social conventions.
The book reminds me quite a lot of Naomi Novik, especially "Spinning Silver".
Went to a bar with a visiting scholar. The first three hours or so were fun. We had good food and nice whisky. Colleague was chatty and I enjoyed listening.
Then loud drunk people came in. I noticed I had hard time following my colleague's talk. The drunk people started to get on my nerves. I was also very conscious of my pinkish nails. Now that I've paid more attention to my bodily reactions, I noticed how anxious the change of the atmosphere made me.
Fortunately I had already checked my bus schedule and the colleague had said that I can just let him know whenever I have to leave. I said that it's getting loud, then explained I'm autistic and have auditory processing problems and that there would be a bus in 15 minutes. He said that we can leave right away. 💜 Once outside, it felt better again.
The older I get, the less I enjoy noisy bars. Or should I say the less I tolerate them. Never really liked them.
Diary of an ASD Squirrel. Day 201 , Friday 17/05/2024
The number of things that trigger me that I have to keep bottled up , for the sake of a quiet life ! l
Like her taking just the stuff out of the dishwasher she needs (sometimes moving other pots out of the way & then putting them back in the dishwasher ! ) & just the stuff she needs - generally to make her morning snack, which she then leaves for me to tidy away!
It’s even more triggering on days when she is working from home!
No wonder all motivation is dead well before mid-day!
Once upon a time men were criticised for going to work & leaving everything else to their wives, well I have news for the world, that never went away & has achieved true equality! Certainly in our household!
It’s 09:12 & my day is fecked & I still have the dishwasher to empty, her dishes to wash / put in the newly emptied dishwasher & then hang out the laundry.
Don’t get me wrong I fully appreciate that I have to contribute , but I never signed up for this & I don’t know how to tackle it.
GP suggested marriage guidance - yeah sure that’ll work well with my autistic nature & dislike of humaning !
Sometimes it’s all too much & I just want my head to explode & get it over with !
Oh now I’m coughing & aching all over, gimme a break !
Seems I’ve come down with another bug ! Achy, stomach rebelling at the thought of lunch, freezing cold - got a warm top on and wrapped in a blanket. Had a warm Ribena™ (my hot drink of last resort) which appears to have helped a little.
Is it normal for hot drinks to mean you feel colder when you initially drink them - my body thinks so at the moment!
Ahhhh !!! I cannot get a break this year !
And another thing my tinnitus is so loud ! *grumpily snuggles deeper into blanket.
I refuse to go to bed at 13:54 on a moderately sunny summers day !
I shall kill baddies instead & hope I don’t die too much.
Ok it’s 18:30 I’m on the brink of falling asleep.
No appetite , which is a damn shame it being pizza night!
Final Thoughts.
I’ll be the one at the taxidermist….
Thank you to all those who are helping me on this journey, in a myriad different ways. I am thankful to each & every one of you! 🫂 🫶🐿️🖖