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BZBrainz

@BZBrainz@mastodonbooks.net

AuDHD. :rainbowinfinity: NeuroQueer. Creative.

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niamhgarvey , to ActuallyAutistic group
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You know when you start a big tidying project, with great intentions, and then get overwhelmed by the mess you create?

Yeah.

That.

@actuallyautistic

BZBrainz ,
@BZBrainz@mastodonbooks.net avatar

@niamhgarvey @actuallyautistic yes! My living room and life right now.

BZBrainz , to ActuallyAutistic group
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@actuallyautistic

Tweet shared to the FB group Feral Neurodivergent Raging Meme Posting and now here with you. I’ve been down and this was the first thing that made me laugh today. I hope it makes you laugh too.

BZBrainz OP ,
@BZBrainz@mastodonbooks.net avatar

@Jobob @actuallyautistic Yes, as opposed to theoretical. The tag has an interesting history.

BZBrainz OP ,
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@johnnyprofane1 @actuallyautistic Meme has got to meme.

BZBrainz , to ActuallyAutistic group
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@actuallyautistic If you are an adult with a trained to assist autistic adults… would you mind sharing some of the ways your service dog was trained to support you? Thank you!

BZBrainz OP ,
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@ItsTrainingCatsAndDogs @actuallyautistic Thank you so much for adding your experience as a trainer! I appreciate it.

BZBrainz OP ,
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@ItsTrainingCatsAndDogs @actuallyautistic A big consideration that I haven’t heard brought up. I hope that is taken into consideration by organizations that train dogs for adults with autism.

BZBrainz , to ActuallyAutistic group
@BZBrainz@mastodonbooks.net avatar

@actuallyautistic
I’m in the middle of a big move to a small rental & I almost missed Late-Identified AuDHD’s first birthday. ALMOST!

About thirty minutes to midnight I looked at my bookshelf, saw my 1st copy, remembered I forgot to do a cover reveal for the upcoming second edition, and decided to celebrate with a post and a Reese’s egg.

Moving, meltdowns, shutdowns, strain—none of that is fun—but this egg? Systematically peeling it is joy.

BZBrainz , to ActuallyAutistic group
@BZBrainz@mastodonbooks.net avatar

@actuallyautistic @Adhdinos
Late to announce, but Late-Identified AuDHD one years old today AND is getting a title update and a new cover this year. Cover was designed for the second edition by 100Covers.

Late-Identified A Beginner’s Workbook coming soon. First edition and original cover, made by moi, still available. ➡️ https://books2read.com/audhd

BZBrainz , to AuDHD group
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@actuallyautistic @audhd
Really hard conversation today about what was given up in youth for the sake of before we were old enough to understand the cost. Touched on everything from special interests to expressions of gender identity. ❤️‍🩹

BZBrainz , to ActuallyAutistic group
@BZBrainz@mastodonbooks.net avatar

@actuallyautistic Have you seen this resource yet?

“The Autism Books by Autistic Authors Project is an (ongoing) attempt to catalogue all books — non-fiction and fiction — written about and related to autism by Autistic authors.”

There are over 1,000 books catalogued! Including mine and other authors I see in my feed here on Mastodon.

https://autismbooksbyautisticauthors.com
@bookstodon

BZBrainz OP ,
@BZBrainz@mastodonbooks.net avatar

@benetnasch @BZBrainz @actuallyautistic @bookstodon That is super exciting! I was thinking the same for my spicy PNR pen name.

BZBrainz , to ChronicIllness group
@BZBrainz@mastodonbooks.net avatar

I’ve never had pain during the Beighton score for but after? Ugh. I’m not the most bendy of the zebras at 6/9 and yet each clinician seems to need or want to try to validate a well documented finding. Started another go round of physical therapy today, so I do understand the need to document the 200+ ROM of my shoulders. Still 6/9 and no, I’m not bending my thumb back again because this body has been keeping receipts for the last 3+ decades—thanks. @chronicillness

BZBrainz , to ActuallyAutistic group
@BZBrainz@mastodonbooks.net avatar

Me: My short story has had 556 page reads! One million page reads, here I come!

Spouse: That's nothing to shake a stick at! Wait, why are we shaking a stick? Who is shaking a stick? What are they shaking a stick at? Why do we say this?

Me: 90 minutes later According to Dr. Google, there is no definitive origin story, but it was allegedly 1st recorded in 1818 in the Journal of Pennsylvania…<info dump>

@actuallyautistic @Adhdinos

BZBrainz , to adhd group
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Me: I can’t find my ear phones.

Spouse: Your earbuds? Have you checked the top pockets of your overalls?

Me: The empty case is there. I’m not sure why I didn’t put them in their case. I put the case there so I could put them away easily.

@Adhdinos @adhd

BZBrainz , to adhd group
@BZBrainz@mastodonbooks.net avatar

@Adhdinos @adhd

This week on my blog, I mused on my medication trail and stimulant shortages in the US.

White text on a yellow and orange background. Text title reads, "ADHD Pain. Medication Trial & Shortages. Personal med trial update." Body of text is a snippet from blog that reads, "A month ago, I was prescribed methylphenidate but have been unable to fill the prescription locally. This marks the second time I’ve faced shortages in three months. The last instance involved the ill-fated generic Concerta, which necessitated calling numerous pharmacies in...”
ALT
  • Reply
    • BZBrainz , to AuDHD group
    @BZBrainz@mastodonbooks.net avatar

    @actuallyautistic @audhd

    I am trying to track down an article published by Dinah Murray with the hopes of reading about the progression of the theory of .

    Does anyone know what database it might live in? I gave Google Scholar and Pubmed a go.

    I want to start: Murray, D. K. C. (1992). Attention tunneling and . Living with autism: The individual, the family, and the professional.

    BZBrainz OP ,
    @BZBrainz@mastodonbooks.net avatar

    @Dr_Obvious @BZBrainz @actuallyautistic @audhd Thank you so much! This was incredibly helpful and I appreciate the ideas so so much.

    BZBrainz OP ,
    @BZBrainz@mastodonbooks.net avatar

    @marionline @BZBrainz @actuallyautistic @audhd @marionline @BZBrainz @actuallyautistic @audhd No, I’m not writing for university though I may pay to reinstate my alumni access so I may have access to their library. Really this is a rabbit hole I fell down after providing a brief definition of for someone. Thank you for reminding me about the uni library.

    BZBrainz OP ,
    @BZBrainz@mastodonbooks.net avatar

    @ferrous @Dr_Obvious @BZBrainz @actuallyautistic @audhd If for whatever reason I uncover it, I will send it your way. I had no idea when I fell down this rabbit hole that it would become a bit of a mystery.

    BZBrainz , to ActuallyAutistic group
    @BZBrainz@mastodonbooks.net avatar

    @actuallyautistic
    I really relate to NDWelness’s content—their videos center their ND experience often through skits. In TikTok they can be found under NDWellness.

    Here’s a link to a video that I related to today.

    https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61552564554391&mibextid=ibOpuV

    BZBrainz OP ,
    @BZBrainz@mastodonbooks.net avatar

    @H2O @BZBrainz @actuallyautistic Me too. They always hit home.

    BZBrainz , to bookstodon group
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    @bookstodon @bookwyrm
    If you read large print or dyslexic font paperback books do you prefer this to be indicated on the cover (say on a banner at the top) to help you identify the accommodation?

    I compiled a quick poll based on different perspectives I've read.

    ➡️ Please consider sharing to help me reach more readers.

    BZBrainz OP ,
    @BZBrainz@mastodonbooks.net avatar

    @bookstodon I am hoping my poll will keep teacher the readers of large print and dyslexic font. If you have a moment or know someone, please boost this signal.

    BZBrainz OP ,
    @BZBrainz@mastodonbooks.net avatar

    @bookstodon many months ago I received feedback that some readers disliked how I labeled my large-font edition of Late Identified workbook. So I could do better, I asked.

    The majority that participated reported they wanted the accommodation labeled on their paperback in a visible way.

    “Large Font Edition” or “Dyslexic Font Edition”

    When I asked where, most said on the spine.

    BZBrainz OP ,
    @BZBrainz@mastodonbooks.net avatar

    @rayckeith @bookstodon Thank you, Ray! Absolutely. I think I’ll edit my original post as this is what I meant.

    nddev , to ActuallyAutistic group
    @nddev@c.im avatar

    We had dinner with some friends this evening -- five of us in total. After discussing it with Helen earlier in the week, I came out to them as autistic.

    I got an interesting set of reactions. Angela (a former headteacher, who I thought knew more about autism) said: "but you're so social." So I said a few words about masking and learning to spend time in company. Lesley replied: "you should have known him when he was young. He was really quite odd." (No, it's fine, we have that kind of relationship.)

    I told Angela I thought she'd known for years, and she said she'd suspected it, but only because of my unusual walk. So, if you really want to pass as NT, you need not only to avoid ticcing and stimming, and make eye contact, and say the right things at the right speed, and pull the right faces, but also to get your walk right. Who knew teachers specialised in gait analysis?

    So that's it. I'm committed. I'm now. 🙂

    @actuallyautistic

    BZBrainz ,
    @BZBrainz@mastodonbooks.net avatar

    @melindrea @nddev @callisto @extraneous @actuallyautistic I am also in the autistic and hEDS group.

    BZBrainz , to ActuallyAutistic group
    @BZBrainz@mastodonbooks.net avatar

    Autistics can be extroverts. There are extroverted autistics. Social-emotional reciprocity or social communication “deficits” sometimes outshine the deep need for social connection. Never assume because someone is autistic that they aren’t revitalized by social events or don’t love to socialize.
    @actuallyautistic

    BZBrainz OP ,
    @BZBrainz@mastodonbooks.net avatar

    @roknrol @BZBrainz @actuallyautistic I’m an introvert with medium social needs, I think. The right people and events make me feel energized and creative, but most social situations drain me. I’ve been described as an extrovert, introvert, ambivert… and I don’t always know, it depends. My spouse? Calls themselves a hermit, prefers solitude with a few exceptions, and doesn’t usually miss people or notice if we haven’t seen other humans in a long while.

    StrassenKatze , to ActuallyAutistic group
    @StrassenKatze@universeodon.com avatar

    It's funny because it's true 😂 @actuallyautistic

    BZBrainz ,
    @BZBrainz@mastodonbooks.net avatar

    @StrassenKatze @actuallyautistic felt this in my bones. @audhd

    BZBrainz , to ChronicIllness group
    @BZBrainz@mastodonbooks.net avatar

    @chronicillness I love night shift. I love being awake at night and I love the personalities night shift attracts… and chronic illness has said, “No more nights, unless it’s insomnia I’ve made for you, or I will punish you disproportionate to the offense.” And isn’t that just chronic illness in a nutshell?

    BZBrainz , to ActuallyAutistic group
    @BZBrainz@mastodonbooks.net avatar

    I was given the opportunity to push out an update to the first edition of the Late-Identified workbook. It is always embarrassing to find a typo—even with multiple editors, beta/ARC readers, + the hundreds of times I have read through it—but correcting mistakes is also a privilege. While I was updating the typo, I updated my reference to AANE. They recently updated their name to the Association for and . @actuallyautistic

    BZBrainz , to AuDHD group
    @BZBrainz@mastodonbooks.net avatar

    @audhd @Adhdinos
    New blog post/ADHD medication diary update.

    ➡️ https://open.substack.com/pub/bzbrainz/p/dear-adhd-diary

    BZBrainz , to AuDHD group
    @BZBrainz@mastodonbooks.net avatar

    @audhd @Adhdinos @actuallyautistic
    I’m excited to share the updated cover for Late Identified A Beginner’s Workbook (2nd edition with updated title) soon! In the meantime, the first edition will stay up and available with the first cover I created for it. 🥰

    First edition ➡️ https://books2read.com/audhd

    BZBrainz , to ActuallyAutistic group
    @BZBrainz@mastodonbooks.net avatar

    @actuallyautistic Someone just recommended Alexandra Streliski as accompaniment for reading and writing—Mastadon crashed before I was able to pull the artist up on Spotify. Thank you! I was not familiar with them and I have enjoyed every song I’ve played. My spouse says thank you too. 🥰

    BZBrainz OP ,
    @BZBrainz@mastodonbooks.net avatar

    @flowerpot @actuallyautistic you’re welcome! I hope my original post finds the person who shared this artist earlier today. I like you, I was just curious and my day was so much better for it. ♥️

    BZBrainz , to ActuallyAutistic group
    @BZBrainz@mastodonbooks.net avatar

    I binge-read The Murderbot Diaries (1-7) by Martha Wells, and now there are no more out, and I'm feeling unmoored. I have a very long TBR list, but... I want more Murderbot. Difficulty with social reciprocity, comfort in rewatching favorite series, disliking eye contact or touch, and so much more. I get why reviews say this series is "one of the most human experiences you can have in sci-fi."
    @actuallyautistic @bookstodon

    BZBrainz OP ,
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    @SallyStrange @actuallyautistic @bookstodon Thank you! I will pick these up next.

    BZBrainz OP ,
    @BZBrainz@mastodonbooks.net avatar

    @mawhrin @SallyStrange @actuallyautistic @bookstodon thank you!

    theautisticcoach , to ActuallyAutistic group
    @theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me avatar

    If you could dispel one myth about autism and humans, what would it be?

    Share your thoughts and let's break down stereotypes.

    @actuallyautistic

    BZBrainz ,
    @BZBrainz@mastodonbooks.net avatar

    @theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic There are so many. Perhaps one myth I would dispel is the excessive conflation of and savant syndrome or the misunderstanding that a special interest is indicative of . I am not saying that an cannot also be a savant or a genius, but not all of us are—which is ok.

    BZBrainz , to ActuallyAutistic group
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    @Adhdinos @actuallyautistic

    I am working on a revised cover for Late-Identified AuDHD: A Beginner's Workbook (retitled 2nd edition). I've been repeatedly advised that using a dyslexic-friendly font in my work is unprofessional. Well, I am a professional with dyslexia... and the use of dyslexia-friendly fonts is a professional choice. Hard line.

    BZBrainz OP ,
    @BZBrainz@mastodonbooks.net avatar

    @H2O @Adhdinos @actuallyautistic For readability? I’m partial to sans serif fonts for readability, for personal need, and because I’ve learned sans serif fonts can be more accessible.

    Though…. 🫣 I’ll admit to buying books with covers I couldn’t read because I thought a chaotic cover with curlicue font was pretty. So there’s that too.

    BZBrainz OP ,
    @BZBrainz@mastodonbooks.net avatar

    @rebekka_m The 1st ed of the Late-Identified workbook is available right now! I released it in early 2023 for adults with a late identification or late diagnosis of & —place to start putting the pieces together. Available at most online booksellers:

    ➡️ https://books2read.com/audhd

    The expanded 2nd ed + new cover will be out later this year, and you can follow me here for progress updates. 🧡

    @actuallyautistic @Adhdinos

    BZBrainz , to AuDHD group
    @BZBrainz@mastodonbooks.net avatar

    @actuallyautistic @audhd
    Being present with someone when they are working through the initial discovery phases of late-identified without info dumping is challenging. Sometimes, that info dump is desperately wanted, and I am happy to provide insight/tools/recs, and sometimes, the person just needs a witness or someone to hear their processing or a parallel play partner so they know they aren't alone.

    BZBrainz , to AuDHD group
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    @actuallyautistic @audhd @Adhdinos

    I can’t sleep when my neighbor is snoring, but 42 MPH wind gusts and rain? 🛌 💤

    Good night and well wishes + other awkward seasonal greetings to all! 🖤

    BZBrainz , to ActuallyAutistic group
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    @actuallyautistic @Adhdinos

    Lawful in public, chaotic when I feel safe. 😂

    BZBrainz OP ,
    @BZBrainz@mastodonbooks.net avatar

    @Cetraria @actuallyautistic @Adhdinos
    😂 My spouse is one of the few people I would repeat what I think I heard and can laugh about it. Sometimes I’ll ask them to fact-check what I just heard if I can’t figure it out on my own.

    pathfinder , to ActuallyAutistic group
    @pathfinder@cutie.city avatar

    @actuallyautistic

    I talked in a recent post about how stressful I find this time of year. How busy it is and how stressful the people are, especially with how gnarly they can be about everything. Not to mention the noise and the lights and the incessant demands that you're supposed to be having "fun" in this sensory nightmare. But the biggest stress for me really has always revolved around the whole Christmas shopping for family thing. Well yesterday I finally realised why.

    Now don't get me wrong. I have always considered myself one of the lucky ones as far as my family are concerned. OK, I may have once described my mother as a black hole of neediness. But to be honest that was only some of the time, for the rest of the time she was loving and kind. Even if I know she really would have preferred it if I hadn't been so weird and been far more the person she saw when I was masking. My father, I'm 100% sure was an undiagnosed autistic and we got on great. But of course growing up in the 60's and 70's your father was basically just your father, he who must be obeyed, and unfortunately he didn't live long enough into my adulthood for us to transition beyond that. And my sister, well she was older than me and therefore the torment of my youth and then distant and getting on with her own marriage and family later on.

    What it meant was that I always struggled to feel truly connected with them and buying the "right" present for them was, I think, my way of trying to correct this. It meant that I put tremendous pressure on myself to get it right. But of course as I grew older and older and nothing changed, not even after I realised I was autistic and shared this with them, then the pressure to get things perfect just seemed to grow.

    But what I've finally realised is that it was never about finding the right present for them, not that I didn't care about what I gave them, but about trying to reach them. To connect. Because one of the unwritten rules that I seem to have picked up and taken as read, was "that family knows you best". And yet mine clearly didn't. And then I remembered that one of the griefs that comes from realising late that you are autistic is that the gulf between you and others is actually permanent. It is like a chasm between you and them that no matter how far you stretch you cannot reach across, it's just too wide. And this is what I've been trying to do, the stress I've been putting on myself at this time of year. To reach across that chasm all on my own. But I know now that in this, as in so many things, it really does take two to tango. It takes them to stretch across as well to have any chance of connecting and until they are ready to make that effort it doesn't really matter what time of year it is, or how perfect their gift is.

    You know I don't really know why finally putting these pieces together feels so huge to me. I just does.


    BZBrainz ,
    @BZBrainz@mastodonbooks.net avatar

    @pathfinder @actuallyautistic In my family, there is a similar stressor around gift-giving. Early, I opted out, primarily due to the tremendous stress caused by not choosing the right gift or being unable to emote "properly" to receive gifts. This opting out hurt many close relationships and I regret it… though the other option would have also caused me harm.

    Did putting these pieces together bring the stress down a little?

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